Kindred Spirit
by mentalillusions
Summary: Thomas would never admit it, maybe because it hurt too much to do so, but he would have liked to have kids, if things had been different. Maybe even a family? But he always knew that was not the fate he was destined to receive, or at least he thought he knew... Established Thommy. Fluffy. One-shot. AU of S3


**Established Thommy. No midnight kiss or any of that bad stuff, they've just come to be a couple naturally, without any of that stuff.**

**I'm kinda on the fence about how I feel about this, but I'll upload it anyway. It's a silly story and by no means should it be taken seriously.**

**Warning for historical inaccuracies and creative licence. Oh there's a tiny bit of slash, to make up for that awful no-con chapter in Alone in the Dark.**

**As a side note, I'm not sure if the word pinny is outdated, spellcheck says it doesn't even exist, so Pinny means apron.**

**Reviews are appreciated :)**

* * *

Jimmy sat stirring his tea in the servant's hall with a subtle smirk on his face.

"You're still obsessed with that story then?" he asked knowingly. The footman already knew the answer, he had been reading about it for days now.

Apparently someone high up was being prosecuted for sodomy, and, well word had got out, and now it was a full blown story. Everybody knew lord-so-and-so was a man of the homosexual nature, or at least that he liked to indulge with those who were. It had become quite a risqué story, and people enjoyed a good scandal, even if they were tight-laced.

Thomas peeled his face away from the pages of his newspaper to look at jimmy with an expression akin to excitement.

"Aye, they now say that he must have paid off one o the prison guards to let him out, 'cause he drove back to his, to pick something up or the like. It says he was _such _a sloppy driver he was drivin' over the grass an' all sorts, 'pparently he even ran one of the maids over" Thomas replied with a tone slightly too full of buzz for what was now a man slaughter trail, as well as a sodomy case.

"Did they say who the girl was?" jimmy questioned, studying Thomas' features curiously.

"Nah, not yet. Maybe they can't _even_ tell! Maybe it's too much of a bloody mess! Maybe-" Thomas gushed wide eyed with an unnerving smile on his face.

Jimmy intersected.  
"You're getting off on this aren't you? Sodomy and murder scandals give you some kind of sexual thrill, eh?"

Jimmy looked behind his back cautiously, suddenly paranoid that someone disapproving may be in the room. Carson would skin them alive if they even muttered the word sodomy let alone go into discussion about unnatural fantasies.

The room and corridors were empty save for them. There wasn't really much for a footman and an under-butler to do late after noon. Everyone else had work to do; the family were currently walking the grounds with a guest, so didn't need someone to wait on them with tea, _currently. _Leaving a void of time for them to use, yet not a precise enough amount to _actually _go for a walk or upstairs. Oh no, they had to _stay_ in the servants hall. But jimmy didn't mind that, Thomas was good conversation, even if he so a little..._weird_ at times.

The under-butler frowned in defence; folding his paper and throwing it back down on the table.

"I do not!" Thomas argued in opposition.

"Jus' find it interesting that's all, not much else to do round here for fun" the older man continued his voice mellowing back to his usual tone.

"Oh is there not? Strange, I thought that there was plenty of fun to be had" jimmy whispered in a seductively, rubbing circles into Thomas' thigh under the table.

"Jimmy" The under-butler warned, a light blush creeping up onto his cheeks, as he tried to hold back a moan.

Thomas' eyes darted around the room nervously, before coming back down to rest on the hand moving higher and higher up his leg.

"Jimmy, _please_, stop now. What if we get caught?" Thomas pleaded quietly.

Jimmy gave a small laugh.

"But I guess I'd know what turns you on Mr. Barrow, seeming as I do it all the time" the footman went on in a sultry voice.

A loud bang was heard down the corridor and Thomas' head shot up in surprise, staring through the arch as the patter of feet grew louder.

Both were too stunned to realise that Jimmy's hand still lay in a compromising position on the older man's leg.

At the doorway stood a child. Thomas couldn't really describe it much beyond young, small...and boy.

The child came rushing towards him, crawling under the table, seconds later appearing at the other side, staring up at him excitedly. Before Thomas knew it, there were small hands grabbing at his leg, pulling its body up to sit happily on the under-butlers lap.

Jimmy moved his hand away and sat with his mouth agape.

"Well I never" jimmy spoke, but Thomas was far to preoccupied by the thing patting at his chest to notice.

Thomas would never admit it, maybe because it hurt too much to do so, but he would have liked to have kids, if things had been different. Maybe even a family? But he always knew that was not the fate he was destined to receive, or at least he thought he knew... No. No. That was daft, there was no way he'd ever be having children. Anyway, he wasn't one of those men who just married whether they liked women or not. Thomas prided himself in the knowledge that he never felt the need to marry or pretend he wasn't who he was. And that would most certainly never change.

But as the small hands clawed at the front of his shirt, he felt the repressed pang of regret and sorrow arise within him. He'd never have this for himself. To be honest, he tried not to think about it to often, because he knew the only way to get kids would be to get a girl and...he didn't like to think much further than there. He didn't _want_ a girl. He _wanted_ a man. He wanted _Jimmy_. He _had_ Jimmy in fact, and he wasn't going to give him up any time soon to _marry._ _Erurk!_ The thought of being married was enough to make him shudder. He didn't want to have that type of family. Not that there was another type.

But as he placed a hand to rest on the child's back, he could quite happy lose himself in a fantasy where him and Jimmy some how owned a child together-_co-owned perhaps?-_no that was silly, who ever heard of someone co-owning a child? Nevertheless, the dream was slightly appealing. _Alarmingly appealing._

Thomas reckoned that people would laugh if he ever said he wanted a child. _Heaven forbid a little Thomas barrow running around causing death and destruction! _

He'd never really had a proper, nice family. But the idea if having one_-minus the wife of course-_ was almost..._romantic_.

Thomas' heart clenched with the knowing that he would never have this for himself.

_This is why I never think about children! I can't believe I'm getting soppy over a child. What am I, a woman?_

_Anyway, I've never been near a child in my life, except when I was a child and that hardly counts. Even then I didn't get on well with them._

Grabbing at his jacket lapels, the small boy pulled himself up onto his feet. Almost subconsciously, Thomas brought his arms around to its back, supporting it from falling. It leaned forward, wrapping its tiny arms around his neck as it hugged itself to him.

"Well hello there." the under-butler cooed softly. "Where did you come from, eh mister?"

Jimmy rolled his eyes at the pathetic sight before him.

Thomas was still zoned out in a world of his own as it lifted a hand up to run along his face curiously.

_"dada?"_ it questioned, bring its finger to run across his lip, poking around his face like the concept of skin was new and unexplored.

Thomas felt his heart clench again.

_"I've always wanted on of me own"_ Thomas said without even realising.  
_  
_He vaguely heard jimmy reply_ "you what?"_ in the background as the child rested its face against his, poking its nose into his flesh.

Suddenly, unannounced, a woman rushed down the stairs and into the corridor, Carson and lord and Lady Grantham following in her wake.

Rising to his feet, still clutching the child to his chest, the woman raised her hand to point at the infant he had come to know as _'it'_.

Apparently that wasn't his name.

"There he is! There's Charlie!" she squealed, trotting into the room, her heels going _clack clack clack_ on the hard floor with each step she took.

Begrudgingly, Thomas held it out across the table for her to collect, an expression of rue flickering across his face momentarily as it began to cry, probably at the lose of warmth, but Thomas liked to think it was because he liked him.

Unbeknownst to him, lord Grantham saw the exchange of affection between himself and the child, with a look of surprise, and perhaps just a hint of respect for the under-butler's caring side.

He began to say "he ran into the room a second ago" but the women talked over top of him, taking Charlie into her arms.

It squirmed about unhappily, trying to get out of her grasp. _Aristocrats, hardly even know there own children what with the nanny basically bringing them up._

"oh I'm so glad we found him! He must have run off whilst we were walking the ground."

"Well we got him now. No harm done. Come, lets all go up stairs for some tea, shall we?" Cora chimed in.

As they turned and walked away it_-Charlie-_looked straight at him, and just like that, the illusion was broken.

#  
Thomas sat miserably at the servant's hall table a week later. The child and its mother had left the same day but things hadn't returned to usual. People were starting to notice this new shift in mood from Thomas, especially Jimmy.

The event had awoken something within Thomas; something he didn't even know was there. Whatever it was, it went deep, straight through his heart, and all he could think about was babies and infants. More importantly, the fact that he wouldn't have one of his own. This knowledge of this had never bothered him before; to be quite honest the fact had never really lingered in his mind before. But now here it was. Like a stranger had moved into his body and taken over his mind leaving him with a regretful longing to have a child of his own, to cherish and to hold, to watch grow up and enter a new world, a better world.

_And there was I thinking you had to be a woman to have mothering instinct._

Thomas hoped and prayed the unwanted-yet at the same time desperately wanted-feelings would go away before someone called him up on it. For the first week everyone just treated him like he was in a grump, or feeling sad, his expression reminiscent to that of the one he wore when Lady Sybil died.

But as the weeks wore on, even Alfred couldn't help but make a comment, setting off a whole wave of additional discussion set off in the wake his question created.

"What's with the long face Mr Barrow? Yer haven't smiled in weeks!" Alfred leaned forward, angling his head to look down the table at the unresponsive under-butler.

Thomas stayed quiet, continuing to stare absently at the food on his plate before replying dejectedly with_ "nothing."_

Even Jimmy wasn't sure what was wrong, he had an inkling it had something to do with the child? Then again, Sybil had only been dead six months and talk of her baby was still quite frequent. Perhaps the whole affair reminded him of her death?

Jimmy repressed a deep sigh, briefly closing his eyes, hoping the conversation could move on quickly without causing too much damage-

_-Of course it couldn't,_ once Alfred had spoken up, everyone suddenly felt brave enough to give their own input.

"you have been awfully quite of late-" Daisy said, placing down a jug of juice.

"-and you can tell us if there is something the matter-"Anna added,

"no use you keepin' it all bottled up, we are here to help after all" continued Mrs. Hughes.

"-unless you've done something wrong-" bates expanded with contempt.

_Shit stirrer._

"-if you have I expect to hear from you before the end of the day" Carson demanded from the far end of the table.

"-not that you'd come forward if yer had been misbehaving. I suggest that we search his room Mr. Carson" O'Brien turned to look at the butler with a smirk on her face.

Carson frowned "there will be no _we_ in this matter, only _I _and-"

"oh leave off the poor boy will you! Its obvious he's upset and-" the housekeeper said reproachfully toward Carson.

"Whatever is happening, it isn't anybodies business, so we should _all_ just stop talking!" Jimmy insisted, perhaps a tad too loud.

Silently, Thomas stood up from the table, his chair scraping across the floor with a _screeesh_ing noise. Throwing his napkin down he walked out the room and headed for the door to the courtyard.

Jimmy quickly got up and followed him outside.

"Hypocrite" O'Brien muttered

* * *

Thomas sat hunched over on the floor outside, screwing his eyes shut and trying to return his breathing to normal.

_Please don't cry...please don't cry...please don't cry_

Bugger!

Thomas lifted a hand up to his check to wipe away an errand tear. It wasn't like him to get to emotional, especially over something so _silly_. He was embarrassed to be feeling what he felt, even more so now that he was into his later years in life. He was thirty for Christ sake! He shouldn't only _just _be realising now that he might have liked a child. Although maybe he should have realised this when Sybil had her child and he was so desperate to see it that he snuck up just to hold it. He thought he liked cradling it in his arms because it reminded him of her, but maybe there was something more to it.

He heard footsteps approach and turned to see Jimmy lowering himself down sceptically, trying to do as little damage as possible to his trousers, and Thomas' fragile emotions. He didn't want to make things any worse than they already were.

"Hey" Jimmy said softly, bringing a hand up to stroke at one of the hands wrapped tightly around Thomas' knees.

"do yer want to tell me what the matter is then, what's been makin' you so sad recently" jimmy spoke softly, his voice just above a whisper, loud enough to hear, yet still quite enough to convey intimacy in his tone.

Thomas snivelled, his pride feeling suitably destroyed.

_I might as well tell him. No point in lying._

"I want one" Thomas admitted after a short pause, staring down at his shoes, not ready to look jimmy in the eyes just yet.

"You want what Thomas?" jimmy asked seriously, still in a hushed tone, urging him to continue.

Thomas didn't want to say it, he was a _man_, and even if he was a man of… certain preferences, this wasn't what he was meant to want, he couldn't to bear to say it-

"a baby jimmy. I want a baby."

Jimmy sat silent for a moment taking it all in. It was a strange desire, but who was he to question Thomas' wants?

However, he also knew that it just wasn't going to happen, and he had to let Thomas down gently; not that he need reminding that the population of the country owning a penis couldn't birth children, and Thomas wasn't to type to change his ways and marry just so he could have a child. There was no other options for him.

Jimmy patted him on the back comfortingly.

"Y'know yer cant have a child of yer own. That's just wishful thinking. I'm sure this _feeling_ will pass soon enough."

"I don't think so. I think its here to stay" Thomas turned to look at the younger man beside him, eyes full of sorrow. "I'm going to go to the grave with this unfulfilled dream. A dream I didn't even have till a month ago!"

"Aye, c'mon cheer up. Why don't yer look at the newspaper again, continue to follow your morbid story? They say that they've caught the man, whole double page spread on it"

"hm I s'ppose that I'm going to have to get over this sooner or later, but I highly doubt this want will ever go away. But we can't have anymore scenes like the one which just happened" Thomas said looking towards the door which he could now only just make out in the dark of the night.

"At least you don't have to sit down with them until tomorrow" jimmy said reassuringly, standing up.

* * *

Thomas flicked through the newspaper the next morning at breakfast. Jimmy was right, they had caught the man. Sadly, all the earlier copies had been thrown out so he couldn't find out any more about the woman that was killed, but because it was such a big story, at least he wasn't able to pay off the judge to let him go uncharged. Life sentence: Sodomy and murder.

Just as he was about to start drinking his tea, some sort of policeman appeared at the door way.

Naturally, Carson frowned demanding he state his business, looking at him as if he were a mud stained pauper. Everyone else sat open mouthed, unsure of how to react, secretly filled with excitement.

_God, look at them._ Thomas thought looking around the table of people. _This is the most fun we've had since Bates was arrested.  
_  
_Maybe they've come back for him! Maybe he really did kill his wife, wouldn't put it past him. A man that noble has got to be a crook one way or another..._

"I'm here to see one of your employees." the grey haired man at the door began. "Is there someone where we can speak in private?" he asked in a tone which suggested that it wasn't really a question and the butler didn't have a choice about giving him what he wanted. His voice was deep and booming-more so than Carson's, even when he was reprimanding someone for putting the salt and pepper the wrong way round, which was saying something, as Carson's voice was enough to make one want to jump out of their own skin and cower in a darkened corner. The plates and cups seemed to vibrate as he spoke, a voice so loud Thomas could nearly feel it coursing through his body.

A bad feeling gnawed in his stomach.

"I'm here to see-" he looked down at a paper he had been holding at his side, bringing it up to read "-a Mr Thomas Barrow?"

With a curt nod in Thomas' direction from Carson telling him to go, the under-butler left the room.

He felt sick. He felt like he was actually going to be sick.

"We can talk in Mr Carson's office" Thomas said, opening the door, his voice coming out miraculously smooth and level.

"thank you" the older man replied, waving a hand to usher over a younger, scrawny looking man standing at the backdoor.

_Blimey, I thought one was bad enough!_

"I think you better sit down for this Mr Barrow" the older of the two men said.

Sitting at the office chair, the two men moved to stand in front of the desk.

The older man introduced himself and the younger man beside him.

"I am inspector Clarin, and this is Mr Greenwood, he's a government lawyer. We've both been assigned to the _'Lord Kingsbe'_ case, perhaps you've heard about it in the news"

"yes, but how does that concern me?"

The two men passed a sideways glance at each other, before the young lawyer, Mr Greenwood, stepped forward.

"I'm sorry to inform you that your sister, Miss Elisabeth Barrow was involved in the case, and on Tuesday the 3rd of February she was run over and died outside Fenten Abbey, age 23"

He paused but Thomas said nothing, a slight frown creasing his forehead.

"After asking questions to people that Elisabeth knew, are we correct in coming to the conclusion that the two of you weren't close?"

"erh y-yes, that's true, I er haven't seen her in-" Thomas paused, squinting his eyes in thought, "13 years I believe..." _that seems like an awfully big number, maybe I'm wrong..._"I left home at 17, and she was only 10 at the time so...its been 13 years"

_Am I sharing too much? I don't want to have to go into too much detail about why I left._

"so...she's _dead_?"

He had tried to contact her years ago in attempt to get back in touch, but was told that she never wanted to see him again. Yet he still couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. Not a huge sense, but a sense nevertheless.

"I am also afraid to tell you that there are more details to, and significant ones at that. She had a young child, a newborn in fact, which has now been left orphaned by her death. It appears there isn't a father to the child. And your younger brother, Henry, who the child would have gone to, moved to Bombay a few years back to live with your cousin, and is untraceable-" the inspector revealed detachedly with no change of expression.

"What about the family business? What did he do with that?" Thomas demanded, feeling anger raise within him.

_That business was meant to be mine!_ _And then he sells it!_

"He sold it when he left the country" the inspector said simply, "he split the money with your sister, then left. You see, it turns out that because Elisabeth fell pregnant, and a few months ago she had to quit her job as a ladies maid, and get a house to have the child. However, Lady Kingsbe allowed her to return to work after he child was born, and with the money your brother gave her she had enough to pay for a nanny to look after it whilst she worked-"

"-she hasn't had it long mind, only about two weeks. Lady Kingsbe said she was eager to get back to work" Greenwood intersected.

Inspector Clarin gave a cruel laugh.

"So, through process of ilimination, that leaves you the new father to the child. Not that it had one to begin with!"

Greenwood gave him a glare.

It was all happening so fast, Thomas didn't know what to think, nor what to do, so he cried, not that he'd ever admit it to anyone.  
_  
What am I going to do?_

"I'm sorry this must be quite a shock for you Mr Barrow" he said taking some papers out of a small brief case now lying on the desk, "but I'm afraid the law leaves you as the guardian, there being no other relatives to give it to. And we really must leave, you can see it all in this document" Greenwood instructed placing a brown envelope in front of Thomas.

"We're on a tight schedule as of late, a lot of crimes recently, and we wouldn't normally do this but-"Clarin said, now looking to Greenwood, "_go get the box outside the door will you-_actually on second thoughts, if you'd like to step out into the corridor Mr Barrow."

Thomas frowned as he saw a huddle of people hovering in the corridor, including Mr Carson who looked suitable horrified by the whole event.

Before Thomas knew it, Greenwood was holding a small thing with outstretched arms towards him. Thomas took it cautiously.  
_  
I should be more careful what I wish for._

"it's a girl, unnamed, it's your choice what you do with her from here on." Greenwood said, picking his case up off the floor and turning to leave.

And then they were gone.

And Thomas was holding a baby girl in his clumsily in his arms.

And everyone was staring.

And he thought he was going to be sick.

And cry.

Thomas knew what they were going to ask, so he decided he'd jus save them the trouble.

"My sisters died, and the baby has been left to me. Mr Carson, do you mind if I go to my room?"

* * *

Thomas sat on his bed staring wide eyed at the gurgling baby on his lap. She was surprisingly beautiful, far more than his sister was. It was strange to think of his baby sister having a baby. Then again, he only really knew her as a child. The more he looked at the child, the more familiar the face looking back at him seemed. Nameless held a striking resemblance to Thomas. She had the same pale completion, the same slatey-blue eyes, the same sloping check bones, although on a much smaller bone structure, she even had a little tuft of jet black hair.

He knew that he couldn't keep her, that he shouldn't, that there would be no happy outcome if he did. But as he looked into her eyes, he saw _his_ child, the one he had _wanted_; and he'd be damned if he was about to give it up.

He also knew that he should be sad about his sister's death, about how he would handle bringing up a child, how they'd even be able to live without going into the poorhouse. But he didn't care. How could he when his wishful thinking had suddenly become a reality? And even though he didn't know a thing about looking after children, for Nameless, he'd dedicate his entire life to learning.

"It's going to get a bit silly calling you Nameless all the time" Thomas whispered to the little bundle in his arms.

"How about we find you a name, eh?" Thomas said getting up, nameless still in his arms, walking over to his book shelf.

"no point giving a little miracle like you an ordinary name"

Moving back to the bed to lie sideway across it, Nameless resting next to his chest, Thomas opened his dictionary."

"hm…A" Thomas said, scanning his finger along the page.

"umm…_Abductees?_ Erh somehow I don't think that's quite appropriate. People already don't like me, don't want everyone thinking I stole you."

"okay what about _Aberrant?_ We're rather an _aberrant_ family, aren't we?" Thomas smiled, tickling Nameless on the check.

_I could get used to this._

Thomas smiled down at his baby warmly.

"How about we look at another letter than, let's looks at..." Thomas flicked through the pages "s"

"oh look here's a great name..._spatula!_ You like that spatula!"

Outside the window, the clouds began to thunder giving off an almighty roar causing Nameless to cry. Thomas brought her close to his chest rocking her slowly to calm her down.

"You don't like the stormy weather either then?" Thomas asked, running a hand through her hair. "Aye, well that make two of us then. Well, it'll stop soon, I suppose yer don't like the noise do yer? Well, I don't like it puttin' me fag out." Thomas tickled her nose lightly, making her squeal. "We're quite alike you and me y'know. Something tells me we're gonna get on just fine. And to think I didn't know I wanted you, well I certainly do now, don't I?" Thomas hushed gently.

"we're like kindred spirits, ain't we? Eh, aren't we Kindred?" Thomas soothed quietly, slowing down her crying until she returned to normal, and breathed delicately in his arms.

"You like Kindred? Hm?" Thomas asked, moving to lie on his back, balancing Kindred on his chest, holding on to her little hands. As he looked at her she gave a toothless grin, laughing as he bobbed her up and down.

"Well, it's better than spatula at least."

* * *

As night rolled on, Thomas had to improvise a makeshift bed out of one of his draws lined with a combination of underwear and jumpers. Surprisingly, no one had come to see him during the day. He had at least expected Carson to come up and tell him off for one thing or another, but it seemed everyone was in to much of a state of shock. Although, someone had left 4 glass baby bottles filled with milk for him to heat over the stove so he figured he hadn't been _completely _forgotten about.

Kindred was sleeping soundly in her _'bed,'_ that unbearable ache in his heart was gone, and Thomas finally felt whole again; if he was being honest he had never felt more whole in all his life. It was like a dream, too good to be true.

His mother always said, along with everyone else's, that if something seems to good to be true, it probably was.

He knew things would be difficult, but at that moment he was too blinded by a fulfilled smog given off by the elated feeling bubbling in his chest to see any negatives.

There came a rasp at the door, and before he could answer, the blond footman walked, closing the door behind him.

_"shh"_ Thomas motioned with his finger, before pointing at the small sleeping figure in the pulled out draw.

Jimmy acknowledged the child, screwing up his face with mild revulsion.

"When do you plan on calling the orphanage?" jimmy asked bluntly, keeping his tone as quiet as possible.

Thomas took a sharp intake of breath and drew back slightly like he had been hit in the face.

"You honestly think I'm going to give her up?!" the under-butler asked, horrified that jimmy could even suggest such a thing.

"Well you cant keep her, can you?"

"I don't see why not, I'll think of something later. Maybe lord Grantham can help, he's a father, he'll understand" Thomas defended.

"understand _what_ exactly? There's nothing here to understand, he'll say the exact same thing as me, you can't-" jimmy stopped. There was no point in talking him down off his high when he was so far up, him and his crack-schemed dreams floating in the clouds. If he wanted any kind of results to this problem, he might as well wait until morning. And that's what the child was, a _problem_. And there's no point in getting overly attached to something where the only answer is abandonment.

Jimmy tried to steer the conversation of the troublesome route it was taking.

"Well what have you named her then?"

"kindred." Thomas announced proudly with no delay.

"yes I know you're related, you made that quite clear downstairs, now have you picked out a name or not?" jimmy replied, his voice patronising at first but quickly growing harsher as he felt an anger rise within him.

"No that's her name. Kindred. Because we're related and we're kindred spirits"

Jimmy nodded slowly, slightly weirded out.

_Someone's abducted my male lover and replaced him with some soppy girl_, Jimmy thought, leaving the room cautiously.

* * *

Thomas awoke the next morning to the sound of gentle sobbing. As he hazily sat up and brushed the hair out of his eyes, it suddenly dawned on him that what happened yesterday was real. He really was a father now. Well technically he wasn't, but with a baby of only 2 weeks, it would grow up think of him as its dad.

_I'm responsible for it._

Thomas had never been responsible for anyone else in his life, apart from maybe jimmy. But then again, jimmy was a grown man and didn't need to be fed, or have his diapers changed-

Well at least Thomas didn't think so.

Now it was his job to protect Kindred, she was completely dependant on him.

Thomas tiptoed quietly over to the drawer, picking Kindred up gently, and cuddling her to his chest. She was so-

_Ugh! Smelly!_

The under-butler frowned for a moment.

_Bugger! I don't have a cloth for a nappy!_

Taking a pair of long john underwear out of the draw, Thomas placed them both on the floor. Thomas gagged as he undid the cloth and used the unstained fabric to wipe around.

_Urg, maybe I wasn't cut out for this whole parent thing after all._

You'd think those bastards would at least give me a couple of nappy cloths!

* * *

Thomas stood awkwardly in front of lord Grantham in the library after asking Carson if he could see him. _Apparently_, he had already been notified of the situation. Thomas felt slightly bad that him and Jimmy hadn't actually talked about any of what was happening and what was going to happen properly, but he had to see his lordship as soon as possible. His entire future with Kindred and Jimmy alike rested in the hands of lord G.

"So I hear the child is with you already?" Robert asked, with a look of concern and confusion on his face.

"that's right m'Lord" Thomas replied nervously, running his sweaty hands along his trousers. He knew it wasn't proper, but this entire situation went against propriety, so he decided he didn't give a shit.

Lord Grantham gave a heavy sigh.

"I've been thinking about this all of yesterday-"

"-oh you needn't have worried-" Thomas cut in hurriedly.

"And" Robert continued, "-am I right in believing that you'd like to keep the child?"

"erh...yes m'Lord"

_How on earth does he know? I'm not exactly the sort which everybody thinks of as future father material._

"ah, I thought correctly then. Y'know Barrow, I would have never have had you pegged down as the..._motherly sort_" Robert said, cringing slightly at his own choice of words.

"-but after seeing you with young Charlie a few weeks ago-you two had an instant connection-and I'm not about to stop you from using your..._natural intuition_"

Lord Grantham took a sip of the brandy on his desk, throwing all care about the early hour away.

"and I've decided to give you a house on the grounds to look after the child in...and a small amount allowance of money to use for supplies each month."

Thomas was speechless. Gobsmacked. Stunned.

"on my own?" he didn't even realise that the words had left his mouth, but before he knew it they were out in the open.

_Shit._

Robert paused for a moment in thought.

"well, I suppose that someone could go with you, and walk up to the house like the bates' do each day...you and James are quite close aren't you? Its just I couldn't help noticing the fondness in his gaze the day we went down, and I dare say it confirmed my suspicions about you two both being...confirmed bachelors'." lord Grantham said with a mischievously knowing look.

* * *

Thomas wasn't quite sure how it had all happened but...he was packing...and so was Jimmy...and they still hadn't had the chance to talk things through properly, all Thomas got to say was _"lord Grantham's giving me a house and he's letting me bring you with me, go pack."_ it would be the understatement of he century to say that jimmy looked surprised, but he was proud of his ability to follow instructions and comply wordlessly to Thomas' orders.

* * *

later that day him and Jimmy found themselves walking in the village with their cases picking out the house they wanted. Under different circumstances, Thomas would have been sad how his entire life was able to fit into a case, but the truth was, he was to ecstatic to feel anything other than joy.

There were only a few to choose from, but in the end they settled on the house at the end of the street, with the flowers spiralling up the walls.

Collecting the key, they proceeded to open the door. The rooms were small and bare, with naked walls, but they found that they didn't care, it was _theirs_, and it was far grander home than Thomas could have ever wished to own being a servant.

After some exploration they found It was already equipped with basic furniture, and upon venturing upstairs, Jimmy pointed out with a smirk:

"look it even has a double bed"

* * *

As the days turned into weeks, Thomas and Jimmy got more and more settled into their new home and their new life. Jimmy adjusted to the idea of having a child, and soon shared the same love for Kindred as Thomas did. It was a far different future than either of them had imagined having, but Thomas found it rewarding. He never thought there could be anything else for him but a job, but here he was, with a family and a partner and a home.

Although he still wasn't a born-to-be homemaker.

As Kindred rattled around in her crib in the next room, Thomas cursed under his breath as he cut himself for the ninth time with the knife. He was only trying to cut an onion. Why was it so damn hard! His blood dripped from the open cut, staining the food red.

"oh well" Thomas said, scooping it up and dropping it in a pan.  
"He'll never know"

Having never cooked a day in his life, the whole preparing of dinner wasn't going well to say the least.

Nevertheless, he continued to try.

And fail.

After cutting himself peeling and chopping potatoes, carrots, and turnip, there was soon quite a lot of blood in his pot. More blood than food in fact. His hand ached like hell. And his stew was a rather unusual colour. It didn't look appetising at all.

Kindred squealed as Jimmy unlatched the door and walked in, treading over to the cot and picking up the rattle. She laughed as he cooed over her and shimmied the toy in his hands.

"Thomas! I'm home!" jimmy called from the living room.

"well sit down then, dinners ready" came the muffled response shortly followed by _"bollocks"_ and the clashing of pans.

Thomas placed the two bowls on the table and sat down heavily, wiping his brow exhaustedly.

Jimmy wrinkled his nose up in distain and the food in front of him. It did not look good. Looking up he gave Thomas a sympathetic smile.

"well, at least you didn't burn it this time" jimmy said reassuringly, rubbing at Thomas' arm which lay across the table. He could spend the rest of his life eating awful food, it was worth it just so they could live together. He had expected the whole fiasco to be a complete and utter disaster, but apart from Thomas' lousy cooking skills, (which he really couldn't be criticised for, having never cooked a day in his life) things were going great. Both he and Thomas were getting on well together, and with Kindred. It seemed perfect. Well at least for jimmy it did. Thomas however looked exhausted, the purple under his eyes revealing a lack of sleep, and the rawness of his hands showing hours of housework.

Jimmy ran a hand along the frills on Thomas' pinny.

"Is mummy tired, aye?"

Thomas smirked weakly and laughed.

"Yeah, just a bit"

Jimmy simpered playfully.

"maybe we should go to bed then?" jimmy suggested friskily, taking a mouthful of food and watching Thomas' sleepy face light up at the comment.

"hm, I think that is a wonderful idea." Thomas beamed, running a finger along Jimmy's lower lip.

* * *

Feeding Kindred one last time and tucking her in, the two men raced up the stairs. Thomas stumbled as he pulled the pinny off and fell against the bed on his back as Jimmy frantically climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. He made quick work of the buttons on Thomas' shirt, ripping it open to expose Thomas' flat stomach speckled with dark hairs trailing all the way down his abdomen. Thomas gazed up as Jimmy removed his own clothes so that he was naked from the waist up, licking his lips as his body burned with desire. Thomas' hands reached for the blond's waist stealthily, undoing his trousers before moving on to his own. Soon enough, they were naked, jimmy sitting on his body, and leaning forwards to trail hot, messy kisses around his neck and down to his chest. Thomas gasped loudly as he felt Jimmy's teeth nibbling lightly at his lift nipple, sucking gently before running his tongue down the centre of his stomach. Thomas grabbed at Jimmy's hair, pulling his body up and his head back as he kissed him wildly, his entire body desperate for closeness. Somehow, what with all the adjusting and work happening in the new house, they hadn't yet had time to be together. Not like this.  
_  
"Oh god, I've missed you!"_ Thomas murmured.

Thomas took advantage of being completely alone in the house and allowed himself to moan deeply into the kiss as the younger man slipped his tongue into his mouth.

Thomas couldn't wait any longer. He pushed Jimmy back and growled "get in me!"

Jimmy did so willingly, slathering himself with lubricant before entering the older man with excited vigour. With each thrust Thomas cried out in pleasure, throwing his head back onto the pillow and breathing deeply. Jimmy smirked at the breathless mess beneath him, congratulating himself as Thomas groaned again.

Thomas' un-styled hair stuck to his face as he sweated, although this time from sex, and not the cooking of dinner.

_I could definitely get used to these after dinner activities!_

Jimmy released contently, shortly followed by Thomas, who made no effort to hide his pleasure. As the blond collapsed onto the raven haired's chest, Thomas tilted his head to gaze up at him lovingly, panting:

"thanks for dessert, honey"

* * *

The former under-butler rolled out of bed the next morning, his back and arse aching from the exertions of the night before. Groggily picking his pinny up off the floor, he slid it over his head and walked downstairs to see to Kindred.

Living alone was proving to have a large numbers of advantages, Thomas noticed, looking down at his hairy legs poking out of the apron. Jimmy had brought it for him on their trip into Ripon to pick up supplies, saying that if he was going to be a _'mother' _that he'd need to look the part with_ 'a frilly white pinny.'_ He had thought it was hysterical when Thomas wore it the first time.

_Jokes on him, I like it. It complements my alabaster skin nicely._

Although he wouldn't be seen dead in it by anyone outside of the house.

Thomas scooped Kindred out of her crib, and was just about to put her in the pram when there was a knock at door.

Absentmindedly Thomas answered it, paying no mind to his current state of dress. It was Mrs Hughes. Her mouth hung open in shock.

_What's the matter with her-_

Oh…buggery bollocks!

Thomas' cheeks filled with colour as he clutched even tighter to Kindred.

"I'm sorry Mrs Hughes, I only just got up and I haven't yet had the chance to get dressed and-"

She lifted a hand to silence him, looking equally as embarrassed.

"it's quite alright Thomas, I'll come back later on" she said hurriedly, turning on her heel and walking away down the path.

She stopped at the gate and turned to look at him.

"You're not..._naked _under there are you Thomas?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Maybe a little"

* * *

The pram rumbled and wobbled as Thomas pushed it over the gavel section of the road, speaking calmly to Kindred about the village.

_I am so great at being a father!_

Thomas lifted a hand to point at a shop across the street.

"and that grumpy old cow over there owns _The Grantham Arms_ where I used to buy my cigarettes, but then I found out that she was spreading shit-_I mean nonsense_-about me, and even had the audacity to tell me_ I_ smoked to much! So I told her she could she could stick her cigarettes where the sun don't shine and I never went there again." Thomas stopped and took a cigarette out his case, before continuing on again. "that's called sticking it to the man" Thomas mumbled, his word muffled as his cigarette bobbed between his lips.

Thomas laughed at the memory.  
"God that was so _long_ ago! I had to go up to Ripon and buy them in bulk, but it was worth it! Always stick to your plans Kindred!" Thomas said, ignoring the villagers giving his strange looks.

"c'mon, lets go show you off to the Bates'. I know for a fact they both have the day off and like to spend it at home." Thomas announced, even though Kindred couldn't _actually_ understand, turning the pram and moving towards a row of houses.

"_Eavesdropping!_ That's another useful life skill. There's nothing wrong with it, if people are to lazy to have their personal conversations out of ear range, then its their fault, not yours!"

Thomas smiled contently.

"Mr Bates is a self-righteous bastard, and thinks he's bloody God! We don't like him" Thomas said, bringing Kindred up to speed on his current feuds, as he stopped and leaned forward to look into the pram.

"and I bet they really want a baby, but he's so ancient they might not be able to have one, so it'll hopefully make him really jealous, but Anna will just think I'm being pleasant and neighbourly!" the under-butler grinned, applauding his own deviousness.

"hello Mr Bates!" Thomas said brightly, with the biggest and most dazzling grin he could muster in such_ elderly_ presence.

Bates looked back at him unimpressed.

"Thomas." he said with a curt nod, "what can I do you for?" he asked with an expression which said _'piss off!'_

He could just she Anna pottering around in the background.

"Well you can let me in for a start" Thomas said zestfully, walking in uninvited.

Anna looked up from her cleaning and smiled joyfully, putting a candle stick down and drifting towards him.

She clasped her hands to her chest, peering at the baby in Thomas' arms.

"ah!" she cooed warmly. "You've brought the baby with you" she waved a hand over to Mr. bates who stood by the door, far from amused, with crossed arms.

He walked over reluctantly.

"ooh she is just _adorable,_ Thomas!"

_Damn right she is! Gets all her looks from me!_

"owh we've been so looking forward to seeing her"

Thomas passed an amused glance over to bates who scowled in return.

_Oh, really?_

"she is precious. What's her name Thomas?"

"Kindred." the raven haired man replied proudly.

Anna's face lit up.

"awh how unique-"

"it's ridiculous!" Bates huffed disapprovingly.  
_  
"John!"_

"What did you just say about my baby?" Thomas growled in offense.

"oh please, come off it, it's not _your_ baby, Thomas-"

_"-Mr Barrow!"_ Thomas corrected in fury.

"You don't even _want_ the child! This is just another one of your schemes, you heartless _sod!"_  
_  
Oh shit, I hadn't anticipated this._

Thomas stared back, surprisingly hurt by his words, his lips parting and brow creasing in pained shock.

_Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry._

_Why would I even want to cry, he only said…that I don't love my daughter…that bastard!  
_  
Thomas took a deep breath in, nodding to both of them curtly.

"I think it's my time to leave" Thomas said with far less disdain than he hoped to achieve, instead he just sounded..._meek._

_Ew meek!_

"_Oh John! How could you be so cruel? You know I wanted to see her_!" Thomas overheard from outside the building.

_Looks like my work is done._

* * *

Ripping pieces of bread gingerly, Thomas chucked them into the lake, blithely watching the ducks circle fight over the food floating in the surface.

Thomas lay back on the grass, glancing coyly at the young blond laying next to him. It was hot, so they both lay shirtless, with no one around to see them, the river being located within the woods.

"oi! Don't bounce her around to much, I've only just fed her" Thomas instructed with mock-belligerence, doing his best Carson impression to Jimmy, who was bopping Kindred around on his bare chest a little too vigorously.

Jimmy grinned playfully, prodding a finger into his own naked chest and dragging it down.  
"Oh, well if mummy insists then I suppose I'll just have to stop!" he said jovially as Thomas swatted him away.

"Mummy does insist! Now as you're already holding her, you can feed her some more. The milks already in the hamper"

Thomas watched sceptically as Jimmy fed her, half expecting him to accidently get up, stumble and drop her in the river at any moment. Just as Thomas was saying _"good job",_ the footman brought her to his shoulder and patted her back a little too excitedly and-

"owwh!" jimmy wailed, screwing his face up in revulsion. "She was sick of me!" he shouted pulling her away from his body and thrusting her into Thomas' arms.

"euurk! It's in my hair as well" Jimmy squealed dragging a hand over his head and gasping as he drew it away, wiped the puke along the grass, personally offended.

"Your baby was sick on me!" Jimmy whimpered, nearly close to tears that his hair was ruined.

"corrections,_ our _baby"

Jimmy frowned at him.

"She's no child of mine, not after _that!"_

* * *

Little did Jimmy know, but there would be years more of Kindred being sick on him, horrible things getting in his hair, crappy dinners cooked by someone who'd previously never cooked a day in his life, and an eternity more of Thomas prancing around the house wearing not much more than a pinny. Soon he'd even buy him a string of pearls to complete the look. Through these years, he'd see them all age together, and grow and develop in ways he never would have imagined previously. Sure, they would have their struggles, but who doesn't? They'd would get through them with the help of Thomas' scheming, and Jimmy's charming persona, and continue to live a long and happy existence. Even if in the future, the roof leaks or the stove breaks, or that stray dog comes and tears up all their clothes off the line, it'll still be alright; even if they have to spend weeks walking around in their underwear, saving up to replace torn shirts, or sleeping on a soaking wet bed full of water, because of some missing tiles letting water in, they'd still be okay. Because they were a family, and they would always love each other dearly, and in a way, they were all kindred spirits.

* * *

"Thomas! I think I'm attracting insects" jimmy said in panic, eyes darting around in the dark, as he swatted a hand around his head.

"Oh, I'm sure you attract a lot of things" Thomas replied mischievously, watching the ground carefully in the dark to make sure not to tip up the pram.

As they walked through the village, two girls walked up to them, gazing amorously into the pram.

"Oh she is so cute, is she _your_ baby Mister?" one of them asked excitedly, looking at Kindred's calm, sleeping figure.

Thomas took pride and pleasure in giving his reply, just like he would for years to come; he was proud to finally say:

"Yes. Yes it is."

And stroll back home, knowing he had the family he never knew he wanted.


End file.
